It’s been a while since we’ve posted an entry on the blog, and for that we apologize, but it’s been a busy couple of weeks – Merritt’s been out of town for a week and a half conference in Dar, followed by week long seminar at COTC after her return. And for myself, in addition to my work at the marine park, I’ve spent a week painting the inside of the house while Merritt was away, along with continued house improvements (e.g., replacing old, dilapidated faucets; cleaning up and starting a small garden the backyard; building desks and tables for our kitchen and a makeshift office). There’s still plenty of work left but the place is starting to look and feel less like the old, dirty duka/baa (i.e., shop/bar) that it used to be, and a little more like home.
But other than such endeavors, life goes on here in Mtwara. Now that it’s October, were supposed to be entering the hot and rainy season, but except for a brief downpour one afternoon last week, I can’t detect any change in the weather. To hear news of the approaching fall in the States makes me miss the seasonality of the temperate zone. Even in extreme southern Tanzania, the amount of daylight might change by at most half an hour during the year, and the temperature seems likewise always well above 80 degrees, despite apparently peaking upward of 110 during the middle of the summer. While Tanzanians talk about the benefits of the predictability of such a climate, I have tried to convey the sense of time that seasons can impart on life. I guess coming from Vermont, it should be no surprise that come September and October, I miss fall.
Anyway, what I had really hoped to discuss in this entry was not recent travels or even the weather, but a more tangible part of life here, specifically the reality of living life as an outsider, a foreigner, or more appropriately here in Tanzania, as a “mzungu.” Just for a little clarification, a mzungu is, practically speaking, a white person. But the term doesn’t literally translate so directly – for example, “kizunguzungu” is an adjective for being dizzy, like if you were describing to a doctor that you’re suffering from dizzy spells.
Apparently, the term “mzungu” (or “wazungu,” for the plural) was derived from the concept of foreign white people having literally travelled around the world to come to Tanzania. The white people’s willingness to travel around and around the globe is a real mystery to Tanzanians who can’t fathom going so far away from home. While the country is quite large and the people have, in some cases in the past, been forcibly relocated by their government, few Tanzanians can hardly fathom life outside the district they call home, and in this respect, the mzungu term seems relatively innocuous. But when little kids shout the term at you as you ride by on your bike, or adults drop it on you in the middle of a conversation, like it’s a given, it’s a different story – not nearly as innocent, or as tolerable.
It should noted that I fully expected to be called a mzungu well before I ever stepped on the continent, but I didn’t foresee that it would bother me so much. Just imagine taking off at 7:20 in the morning for work on your bike, and hearing, as you push up the long, steady hill to town, kids shout from half a league away “Mzungu! Mzungu! Mmmmzzunguuu!!!”
The other night, walking to one of the near by dukas (i.e., shops), within only a couple of hundred meters of my house, a little kid in the path caught sight of me, and proudly proclaimed “Mzungu!” Finally having had enough, I walked right up to the kid, and told him, “Mimi si mzungu. Mimi ni Mmerikani!” (“I am not a mzungu. I am an American.”) The kid, taken aback by the comment, was speechless for a couple of seconds and then softly muttered, “Mzungu?” Frustrated by this response and aware the kid clearly didn’t understand my emphatic statement, I thought for a second about what to say next, and then slowly, and as calmly as I could, said, “Unasema ambaye mimi ni mzungu, lakini halafu wewe ni nini?” (“You say that I am a mzungu, but then what are you?”)
I wasn’t looking for any particular response, or even any response at all, and I could see that my comment had hit its mark. The kid didn’t know what to say, let along the answer to my question. And that was the point. I simply said to him, “Sawa. Je unaelewa sasa?” (“Ok. Do you now understand?”) He replied with “Sawa,” and I was satisfied, and continued on my way to buy my eggs and tomatoes.
It isn’t that I consider the “mzungu” label to be racist, and for many kids, the exclamation is solely one of excitement at seeing someone that they’ve only ever heard about. There’s no spite or animosity in the label, at least not most of the time. (For example, when a student completing research at the marine park asked me about the term, I explained to him that it couldn’t be compared with some of the epithets that African Americans have historically had to endure in the U.S.) But I strongly believe, and all the more so now, that such labels are wrong solely for the fact that they are labels. The reality is that people don’t want to be defined by some label, even if there’s nothing overtly wrong with the name. But yet, as humans, our natural disposition is to try to classify people – whether it’s by the color of their skin, the length and style of their hair, or the clothes they wear. It’s a behavior that we can only proactively prevent, by refusing to let ourselves try to simplify the world into neat little categories.
One interesting aspect of the “mzungu” thing is that one only rarely hears the term from adults. You know these kids are hearing and learning the term from someone, and every once and a while, they’ll throw it out there and act like it’s not a big deal. But like when the student at the marine park asked me whether I minded the term, the real answer for him was, if you have to ask, then you already know the answer. While I don’t know all the history of the country’s colonial period, I don’t think there’s much collective recollection among the people of Tanzania of the pain and suffering that distinctions based on race can produce.
Merritt, for example, had a co-worker, whom she had just spent the previous week getting to know during a health conference here in Mtwara, excitedly proclaim, as people gathered for photos on the last day of the conference, “Oh, let me get a picture with the mzungu!” Merritt, though she complied with the request and didn’t voice her frustration, was really offended, if for no other reason than this lady not only knew her name but knew her on a personal level. And I can’t blame Merritt for being upset about the incident.
For me personally, whereas previously when some kid has shouted “Mzungu!” at me, I’ve either simply ignored them, now my patience with the term is running a little thin. Undoubtedly it’s a battle I won’t be able to win, and I will likely always be chased with the term no matter where I go, what I do, or how long I stay in this country. But I’ve decided, at least for now, that I am not going to accept being called a mzungu. To simply ignore it, or pretend it’s acceptable is to give in to the term – to implicitly recognize the legitimacy of it.
At one point I debated whether I should try to turn the tables on people who use the term – to come back with something like “mzaliwa,” which means “native,” an expression you’ll often read used by white Europeans and Americans in old books on safari hunting in East Africa and Tanganyika. But as bothered as I am by the mzungu term, I can’t seem to throw around similar epithets. Not only would I personally be disgusted with myself, it seems more likely to anger people than to make them realize the error of their own ways. And that’s one of the funny things about such labels. We’re so quick to use them, but so offended when they’re applied to us. I guess it’s easy for ourselves to ignore the double-standard in such reactions.
Merritt and I have accepted a whole set of new struggles in our daily existence in volunteering for the Peace Corps here in Tanzania (from dealing with the bureaucracy of a federal agency, to the challenge of having to learn a new language, to the problem of securing enough reliable clean water). But neither of us foresaw that the feeling of being an outsider, a foreigner – someone to be stared and pointed at – would be the single hardest obstacle to assuming a normal life here in Tanzania. We continue to try to integrate – by learning the language and culture, dressing and acting appropriately, and telling people about the nature of our work here – but there seems to be a barrier arising out of our skin color that may ultimately prove insurmountable.